Too much trammels of convention when people die. [From Miyuku]

My loving mother-in-law died of cancer in late May when I was away on my business trip. It was a shame I couldn’t be here to see her off when she passed away, but I did have quality time with her when she was quite conscious about everything.

When you read the title, “Too much trammels of convention,” you may well relate yourself to our religious rituals. Yes, there were countless rituals I didn’t know but had to follow at the funeral. However, it was agreeable, because they all seemed so solemn and beautiful to see someone off to another stage.

However what made me puzzled and uncomfortable was to receive monetary gifts and give return gifts. Say if you’re a very close friend of a family, you give about 10,000 yen (equivalent to AU$128) at the funeral. To start with, this amount is not that small, anyway, and after about 50 days, there will be a religious event called “50 days anniversary,” in Shintoism. By then, you’ll need to prepare the gift which value is half as much as the money given. In this case, you have to find something around 5.000 yen for the return gift. I’m not trying to belittle the money giver, but it was a lot of work.

If you think of buying something worth about 5,000 yen for yourself, it may not be that difficult, but when there are more than 100 people you have to decide what is the proper thing to give, and it becomes a huge amount of work.

This is a big business for a department store here. A customer service at a department store came to explain how the system worked. They have all different kinds of goods that cover all ranges from small amount to a large amount of money given. They will prepare thank you cards and make an address list for you. They will give you advice what to write on the card and how the gift should be wrapped in a proper way. I was so amazed there were so many things to follow, even after the funeral.
 
If I had time to choose something they would like, it would be nice and I would be able to show appreciation, but what we did was to choose from the special catalogue for the occasion, and just picked out the things that matched the price.

We just finished this huge task, and now think back, what is the point of doing this? Can we just give half the money and ask for no return gift?  Money giving was to support the family to hold the nice funeral for the dead.  Not to support the family’s everyday living nor the sales of a department store.

I know there are wonderful traditions we want to follow for years to come, but I’m not sure if this is one of them.
 

Posted by Miyuku

In my previous posting I talked a little about this place, so let me now tell you about the book called, "Tono Monogatari," which translates as, "The Legends of Tono." I had the privilege to meet and receive a lecture on the book by its English translator, Dr. Donald Morse. I had translated a Japanese cultural book before, so I shared the same difficulties in translating different languages.

The book, however, is very well translated in its nuances, plus has a lot of explanations. It is a collection of being-told stories, which are rather legends. There exist many goblins, monsters and imaginary creatures in the story. It is like a Japanese version of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. The author, Kunio Yanagita, collected the stories he heard from Kizen Sasaki, who lived in Tono at the time. The village was in the mountainous area and life there wasn’t as easy as back in the old days, so the stories vividly portray this harsh life.

One of the 119 stories goes like this:
A long time ago, there was a goddess who took her three daughters to a certain area in the evening and told them she would give the best mountain to the one who had the finest dream that night.
During the night, the youngest sister saw the beautiful lotus flower float down from heaven and rest on her eldest sister’s chest. She secretly took the flower and put it in her own chest and went back to sleep. So, the youngest sister got the best mountain, called Hayachine, and her older sisters got the mountains called Rokkoushi and Ishigami. These young goddesses lived on their own mountains and ruled over them. Women in Tono are told not to climb the mountains for they make the goddesses jealous.

The story ends there, and there is no moral teaching, or capper in it. I felt uneasy with the story at first because the cunning, youngest daughter gets the best mountain. But it’s up to the listeners how they understand or enjoy the story. The story only tells the facts.

I truly enjoyed my two-day trip to Tono, and I have a feeling I will come back to this unique place before too long. Till then, I will leave my heart in Tono. Anyone wish to join me?

If you're interested you can order and English version of the book at Amazon.com.  (Sorry, but I couldn't find one at Amazon.au)  Please read it as the reviews there are worth reading.
 

It is on my wish list, that we attract and interact with seniors from countries where English is not their first language.

An exchange of views in our forums between people of common heritage is fine and comfortable, but what do seniors in India, Russia, China, Brazil, Iran and more, think about what we have to say?

What is important to them? Are we all sisters and brothers under the skin, or are there fundamental differences in our approach to life and ageing?

What do you think?

Tono- the home of the Legends of Tono  (Part one)

From Miyuku

I’m now in Tono in Iwate prefecture which is about 500 km north-east of Tokyo. This place is well known for the charm of its legends that have been story-told in the area.

I knew about the place and had read or heard of some of the stories before, but I had never been here.  It has always been on my list of places to visit.  

Here I am writing this in a nice little hotel called Hotel Aeria, which is only a five minute walk from the very small “Tono” station.

I took a Shinkansen from Tokyo station to Shinhanamaki. It took about two and a half hours, and then I got on a local train which gave us a nice view of rice fields and the country sides.  

Not many foreigners know about this place yet, but if I were a traveler, I’d prefer places like this one where I can feel and smell the life of the local people. The Tono area itself is not that small, but the town of Tono is pretty compact in its size and everyone knows everyone else here. I was with a lady from the chamber of commerce yesterday, and she would greet people walking on the streets of Tono so many times. People seemed so friendly here.

I got up at 4 this morning, took a shower, and went for a morning walk, photographing the village. There was a morning market which sells fresh vegetables and flowers near the station. I wished I could bring back some!  Actually I could, I guess, if I didn’t have any other heavy things to carry.  

On the way back to my hotel, there was a Tofu shop.  A very friendly looking old man was sitting in front of the shop, at 5 a.m. I smiled and asked for a soy milk. It was a very tasty, very “soy” milk. What I mean is, it was just a pure soy milk made from good kinds of soybeans and pure water. He asked me where I was from, so I said I was from Tokyo. Then he asked me which part of Tokyo I was from, so I said I was from Nakano. Then he started to tell me about his family and relatives living in Tokyo. During our brief visit, he had already greeted two people, and it was even before 6 a.m.  ha-ha!  Then he saw someone he had knew for a long time, so he started talking to him. I quietly left with a little good-bye.  

This kind of little visits makes my trip even more colorful, and I just fell in love with this place!  
 

After our wonderful visit to the Cotswold’s, we went to the Chelsea Flower Show in London. The venue was crowded with so many people. As our group was mostly seniors, I wished there had been more seats available here and there at the venue, even though there was a huge seating area where you could sit and enjoy the live music.

We visited an elementary school in Croydon and we had a little cultural exchange with little students there. There was a Japanese Calligraphy teacher in our group and she demonstrated writing some students’ names in Kanji characters. We taught them how to count up to 10. It was a lot of fun. Then after our visit to school, we had a home visit with a Mr. and Mrs. Goodwin. They were another wonderful couple you’d like to meet. I met them last year when I was on my first narrow-boating trip. We had only an hour to visit then, but we kept in touch, and later I explained the goals and aims of the tour I was planning. They were kind enough to invite us into their home. We even got together with their neighbors and friends. It was another wonderful experience in getting to know many new people. There are some people you instantly make friends with and stay friends forever, while there are people you see every day but never exchange words. So it was certainly a special reunion for me.

When you’re on a trip, you get to visit wonderful places, but you rarely get to know local people unless you live there.  So it was such a wonderful occasion for all of us.

My last event in England was to see the musical, “Jersey Boys,” in London. It was one of the best musicals I’ve ever seen! It was another wonderful meeting. I do not mind going back to see the musical many more times!

Coming back from an exciting event, the news that awaited me was the death of my mother-in-law. I was devastated with sorrow. I wasn’t sure if I could make it to see her after this 12 days trip, so I cherished every moment with her before I left. But still, I felt guilty for not being able to be with her at the last moment.

The last 2 weeks of my life was something very special. There are things I cannot just put into words. But I certainly learned and experienced a great deal.

Life is a series of meetings and partings—some good and some sad but I guess that’s what life is.
 

Greypathers often bemoan the fact that, although we have 10 000 registered members, and are growing daily, its hard to get seniors to speak up. 

If we raise an important subject in our forums, such as ethics, we might get 5 responses if we are lucky. If we raise something about say rudeness on buses, then we might get 20 responses. If we raise something on feral neighbours, we might get 40 responses.

I know it’s human nature to be more interested in a twinge of arthritis than children starving in Ethiopia, but at times it is disappointing, that, with so many lifetimes of experience between us, we do not speak up and contribute much more to public life.

Sadly we are fast becoming the silent grey majority.

Greypath offers us a number of forums, where you can have something to say, and may be ‘take a bit of stick’  sometimes, as a practice run perhaps,  before having your say in more public arenas.

We owe those who follow us, something more than silence.

From  Miyuku

I was away from Tokyo for 12 days with a group of 10 and I surely enjoyed their company. I think the essence of a good trip is to have nice weather and nice company. Fortunately, I was blessed with both.   

Some British say there are 4 seasons in a day in England, and some even say there is no climate, just weather, in England.  

It was very difficult to predict the weather. Before I left, I checked the weather on the Internet, and I found umbrella marks almost every day for the entire period of my visit.  But in fact it was the opposite. We had wonderful weather all the way through.   

I told you that I arranged study tours for elderly people, and this was actually the second one I really got involved in.

I wanted this trip to be a relaxing and slow-paced trip so that participants could really enjoy experiencing the English life style. I first decided to find a nice, cozy B&B where people can sit outside and enjoy chatting even when there is nothing special planned for the day.

Thanks to the Internet, I was able to find this superb B &B in Mickleton, near Chipping Campden. I soon got in touch with the host there. The B&B was run by a nice friendly couple and it is one of the most highly rated B&Bs around the village.

We all enjoyed gracefully prepared English breakfast with a good cup of tea. Michael, the host was most supportive and helpful in giving us information we needed. Alison, the hostess was the most charming lady, full of infectious hospitality. Their presence made our stay even more colorful.    

I truly enjoyed walking the footpath. The scenery and the company were perfect. We walked to the Hidecote Manor Garden and the Kifts Gate Court garden. They are renowned English style gardens. We were a little early for roses, but we enjoyed all different kinds of beautiful flowers!

We also enjoyed narrow-boating. It was a lot of fun experiencing opening the locks on a canal and operating the boat. It isn’t that hard at all. If you feel like just getting on a boat and relaxing, the owner of the boat will do the operating for you. The couple operating this narrow-boat was just as nice as they can be. They’ve just built a new narrow-boat themselves, and have their license. What makes it so special is that the boat is made for tourists like us to enjoy the unhurried relaxing time, not just for the owner’s living space. Living on a narrow-boat didn’t seem comfortable or convenient, for the space on a boat is small and it takes hours to get to the next stop when it takes only 15 to 20 minutes by a car. But there are a lot of people who choose to live on the water, spending the good life. Maybe it’s a good idea to check it out. It will certainly give you time to think about how you want to spend the rest of your life. A life of richness doesn’t always mean to have an abundance of information or material things.

From Miyuku

When Japanese people say, “Let’s drink some tea,” it usually means to take a break and have something to drink. But it originally meant to have some green tea.

Green tea was introduced to Japan from China as a medicine in the 9th century by a Buddhist monk. It was drunk only among Buddhist monks in the beginning, and then it was taken up by the samurai warriors. It gradually spread among common people and now it has become the most popular drink for Japanese.

Most of the green tea has less caffeine than coffee does. But there are hundreds of different kinds of green tea differentiated by the place where it was cultivated, how it was processed and when the leaves were picked.

There is a kind of tea which is called, “powdered green tea.” It is a particular kind used for Chanoyu, the tea ceremony. This is a ritual tea ceremony that was perfected by the tea master named Senno Rikyu.  It takes a lifetime of practice to learn “Chanoyu,” for there are just so many rules and things to learn. I have participated in some tea ceremonies before and it was a tense moment when I received a bowl of tea in a solemn atmosphere. I didn’t know much about tea ceremony, and I just followed and tried to mimic the previous guest’s procedures.

But now I know a little better, and I can appreciate the way of the host preparing the gathering of tea, and how I need to calm myself to fully enjoy the whole session. However, sitting on your knees while the ceremony is going on is a tough experience!

The more I learn about tea ceremony, the more I find things I need to learn. No wonder it takes a lifetime to practice tea ceremony.

It is not all about drinking tea or eating sweets in a special room. It is the practice of a way of life that matters in Chanoyu. I’d like to share these very insightful rules that may tell you the philosophy behind practicing it.

The student asked Senno Rikyu to summarize the most important things to remember when practicing tea, hoping he would learn something he had not yet been taught.  Rikyu responded:

1.    You must make a delicious bowl of tea
2.    Lay the charcoal so the water boils
3.    Arrange the flowers as they are in the field
4.    In the summer, suggest coolness; in the winter suggest warmness
5.    Do everything ahead of time
6.    Prepare for rain
7.    Give those with whom you find yourself every consideration

The student was rather disappointed, and said he already knew all that. Then Rikyu said,
“If you could do those simple things perfectly, I would be your student.”

------- This conversation between the two, teaches us that what would appear to be the simplest things are the most important and difficult things to practice in our daily lives.
 

 It seems to me, that regardless of our greenhouse gas contribution or not, the odds are that global warming is a fact. So, what can we do about it?

Basically two things, firstly reduce its emergence as best we can, and secondly, practically prepare for it.

Reducing its emergence seems to be limited to  reducing our greenhouse gas emissions. How best to do this is in heavy world wide debate.

Practically preparing for it, seems to be much harder. My recent research on line, has led me to believe that we seem to be bereft of any real ideas at all.

Consultants are making money from telling Councils for example, that they need action plans with problem analysis, benchmarks and deliverable steps etc. Such are all weazel words that do not add one new practical idea, or advance one whit, our dealing with the problem.

Where do we see, anywhere, ideas like the State progressively buying up homes that look like being inundated, removing them, bringing in soil to raise the levels above any expected sea rise, and creating say, new safe level, marine estates that can be sold back to recover the States investment?

Where do we see initial considerations for dykes like the Dutch and others have or?

What about the provisional planning for new towns on remote coastal locations of Australia, for the relocation of people from low lying Pacific  islands, should they need our help?

I would be delighted to hear of any ideas you might have…